[ it's like something out of a dream, having kaz this close once more — not the closeness of their nightly ritual, tension thick in the air and nikolai trying his damnedest not to let any brief touch linger, but like before, when their surroundings crackled with adventurous promise. hope. something he used to carry with him always, called upon with the ease of breathing. now, he's almost afraid to let it in, and almost afraid to believe that kaz is surrendering himself so willingly. he wouldn't believe it if it wasn't happening right before his own eyes, the slow tug of leather, the intentional baring of his throat. his pulse is a roar in his ears.
the killing blow is the brush of kaz's lips to his palm. nikolai shuts his eyes, wanting to tear himself away, wanting to demand that kaz remember everything he's done to him, a numberless list of sins and unintentional cruelties. he knows there will be more, because he knows he will fail again despite his best efforts. the thought jolts him out of his own head, blinking at kaz's unexpectedly sweet face, concentration tightening his features. he's staying, he realizes. he's staying here with me. his breath catches as kaz's nimble fingers find their way beneath his clothes, warming against the small of his back. feels the strength in his arm when he pulls him closer to a place he can't escape.
have you been beaten down so badly that you can't get back up again? his demon rumbles in his chest as nikolai curls his fingers into the waiting warmth of kaz's mouth, gently pulling him closer as his other hand cradles his cheek, thumb swiping across the growing flush coloring his skin. remember who you are. he has no right to this — to kaz, to this moment, to this need inside of him. but he's never had a right to anything. not his name, not his crown. you have to earn it. ]
There is no one like me, Brekker. [ a flash of a smile, his golden eyes warming. he draws a tentative breath, fingertips stroking the sudden heat of kaz's tongue. he withdraws his hand, wet fingers moving to his chest again to leave a slick trail across his skin. he stumbles over a nipple and pinches, wanting to see the heat grow on kaz's face, bringing his mouth close so only a breath remains between them, eyes shuttering as his voice drops to a whisper. ] You have no idea how much hope lives inside of you. And how much I need it.
[ then there's the crush of their mouths, cracking open an ache he's tried to stitch closed, a moan rising unbidden in his throat. his hand can't decide where to go, sliding down his chest, over the cut of his hip, blunt nails leaving a trail across his skin as he curls his fingers into the small of his back and draws him nearer, a mirror of kaz's boldness. his teeth catch his bottom lip, eyes briefly fluttering open to make sure kaz is still with him. he nestles his grip at the nape of his neck, keeping him close. ]
Tell me something you've never done. Something you've wanted. [ breathless words between breathless kisses, too greedy for this to pull away. his lips move to the corner of his mouth, dragging lower as he tilts kaz's head back to kiss the scar beneath his jaw. ] Anything. Anything at all.
no subject
the killing blow is the brush of kaz's lips to his palm. nikolai shuts his eyes, wanting to tear himself away, wanting to demand that kaz remember everything he's done to him, a numberless list of sins and unintentional cruelties. he knows there will be more, because he knows he will fail again despite his best efforts. the thought jolts him out of his own head, blinking at kaz's unexpectedly sweet face, concentration tightening his features. he's staying, he realizes. he's staying here with me. his breath catches as kaz's nimble fingers find their way beneath his clothes, warming against the small of his back. feels the strength in his arm when he pulls him closer to a place he can't escape.
have you been beaten down so badly that you can't get back up again? his demon rumbles in his chest as nikolai curls his fingers into the waiting warmth of kaz's mouth, gently pulling him closer as his other hand cradles his cheek, thumb swiping across the growing flush coloring his skin. remember who you are. he has no right to this — to kaz, to this moment, to this need inside of him. but he's never had a right to anything. not his name, not his crown. you have to earn it. ]
There is no one like me, Brekker. [ a flash of a smile, his golden eyes warming. he draws a tentative breath, fingertips stroking the sudden heat of kaz's tongue. he withdraws his hand, wet fingers moving to his chest again to leave a slick trail across his skin. he stumbles over a nipple and pinches, wanting to see the heat grow on kaz's face, bringing his mouth close so only a breath remains between them, eyes shuttering as his voice drops to a whisper. ] You have no idea how much hope lives inside of you. And how much I need it.
[ then there's the crush of their mouths, cracking open an ache he's tried to stitch closed, a moan rising unbidden in his throat. his hand can't decide where to go, sliding down his chest, over the cut of his hip, blunt nails leaving a trail across his skin as he curls his fingers into the small of his back and draws him nearer, a mirror of kaz's boldness. his teeth catch his bottom lip, eyes briefly fluttering open to make sure kaz is still with him. he nestles his grip at the nape of his neck, keeping him close. ]
Tell me something you've never done. Something you've wanted. [ breathless words between breathless kisses, too greedy for this to pull away. his lips move to the corner of his mouth, dragging lower as he tilts kaz's head back to kiss the scar beneath his jaw. ] Anything. Anything at all.