[ not great, but fine — inching back to great, wading into the dark waters with nikolai’s fingers guiding him, a relentless drag over his hard cock. the praise washing over him like warm light dappling the shallows. an assurance kaz didn’t know he needed after nikolai had suggested that this (kaz) wasn’t wanted days ago. hard to feel anything but desired now, of course, watching nikolai ease him back into this intimacy, doing filthy things he hadn’t let himself imagine, too far out of reach. another abortive thrust at the tease to his tip, whine low in his throat.
but the thing that helps the most is nikolai stealing the compliment he worked very hard on, thanks, and turning it back on him. a short, barked laugh eases the tense line of his body a vital fraction before he coils in different, better places when nikolai swallows him again. for once, kaz allows himself to be led and adapts to match nikolai’s rhythm, rewarded with a ratcheting sort of pleasure as he rocks eagerly into his mouth. still tense and sensitive enough that every slide feels a little devastating, cock thickening on nikolai’s tongue. as the colour in his cheeks intensifies, the same hot, shivery feeling runs rivulets down his back, building low. his gaze flicks to the ceiling, another steadying count of breaths, before nikolai does something that makes him cry out.
no idea how he went so long without this. no idea how much of it he can take. it feels like he’s trying to catch up with all the sensations, swept up in the current. ]
Nikolai. [ riding on a shaky exhale, approving. all the praise he can’t articulate wrapped up in his name. nikolai feels as good as he looks, no, as he sounds — the velvety heat of his mouth drawing surprised, wounded noises with each deep glide, the warm curve of his shoulders spreading his thighs so they ache pleasantly, moans vibrating up his cock to assuage any lingering doubts that nikolai wants anything but this. kaz brings his (cold, now) hand to tangle in nikolai’s hair and pulls. encouraging, urging. ]
Like that, ah — Nikolai. [ to mean again, more. maybe just to say his name, when it signals this precise location in time and space; this person who holds the lion's share of the trust and faith he has left. canting his head to the side, kaz watches through low lashes, over the rapid rise and fall of his chest, to memorise the set of nikolai’s brows, the shape of his reddened mouth stretched, the way his throat works. thinks, distantly, that it’ll be harder to put nikolai to bed each night and leave before he’s hardly thinking anything at all. from there, his lung capacity narrows to little more than pants, chest shuddering. waterline at his waist now, but that's fine. he can make it back to shore.
his grip on nikolai’s hand strengthens, pressing their shared clasp against his thigh like he means to sear it into the skin. all the muscles in his body pull taut, good leg cinching tighter on nikolai’s back. a feeling he knows but doesn’t think has ever been quite this overwhelming, flooding every twitching limb. fingers scrape over nikolai’s scalp for another rough pull — final warning — and he comes down nikolai's throat with a shudder, eyes finally shuttering again as a punched-out sound escapes in a rush of air. small, stuttered gasps chase the aftershocks until he relaxes, secure in nikolai's hold. ]
no subject
but the thing that helps the most is nikolai stealing the compliment he worked very hard on, thanks, and turning it back on him. a short, barked laugh eases the tense line of his body a vital fraction before he coils in different, better places when nikolai swallows him again. for once, kaz allows himself to be led and adapts to match nikolai’s rhythm, rewarded with a ratcheting sort of pleasure as he rocks eagerly into his mouth. still tense and sensitive enough that every slide feels a little devastating, cock thickening on nikolai’s tongue. as the colour in his cheeks intensifies, the same hot, shivery feeling runs rivulets down his back, building low. his gaze flicks to the ceiling, another steadying count of breaths, before nikolai does something that makes him cry out.
no idea how he went so long without this. no idea how much of it he can take. it feels like he’s trying to catch up with all the sensations, swept up in the current. ]
Nikolai. [ riding on a shaky exhale, approving. all the praise he can’t articulate wrapped up in his name. nikolai feels as good as he looks, no, as he sounds — the velvety heat of his mouth drawing surprised, wounded noises with each deep glide, the warm curve of his shoulders spreading his thighs so they ache pleasantly, moans vibrating up his cock to assuage any lingering doubts that nikolai wants anything but this. kaz brings his (cold, now) hand to tangle in nikolai’s hair and pulls. encouraging, urging. ]
Like that, ah — Nikolai. [ to mean again, more. maybe just to say his name, when it signals this precise location in time and space; this person who holds the lion's share of the trust and faith he has left. canting his head to the side, kaz watches through low lashes, over the rapid rise and fall of his chest, to memorise the set of nikolai’s brows, the shape of his reddened mouth stretched, the way his throat works. thinks, distantly, that it’ll be harder to put nikolai to bed each night and leave before he’s hardly thinking anything at all. from there, his lung capacity narrows to little more than pants, chest shuddering. waterline at his waist now, but that's fine. he can make it back to shore.
his grip on nikolai’s hand strengthens, pressing their shared clasp against his thigh like he means to sear it into the skin. all the muscles in his body pull taut, good leg cinching tighter on nikolai’s back. a feeling he knows but doesn’t think has ever been quite this overwhelming, flooding every twitching limb. fingers scrape over nikolai’s scalp for another rough pull — final warning — and he comes down nikolai's throat with a shudder, eyes finally shuttering again as a punched-out sound escapes in a rush of air. small, stuttered gasps chase the aftershocks until he relaxes, secure in nikolai's hold. ]