[ can't help but bark a laugh, at the thought of nikolai acting ridiculous to get his attention, his mouth. you have it, you handsome fool. maybe it’s about enjoying it rather than enticing him all over again. he thinks of crowding nikolai against the garish, ornamental walls of the palace, of the inevitable pushback. in his fantasy, someone sees, and it's over. no, in his fantasy, it’s just the two of them, an entire world to themselves. unreality.
pride sparks inside him, lighting up his chest as nikolai confesses to the same, ceaseless thoughts of him — or different ones. oh. that suffuses him with sunlit warmth, persisting even as nikolai’s wandering hands make him shiver. kaz wants to know nikolai’s every yearning thought, charting where their desires overlap and diverge — doubling their possibilities, no doubt. can’t think of a wrong way to be with him or of it being too much, when the very act of touching him should be impossible. ]
I’ll consider that an achievement. [ mouth quirked on both sides for a change, dead pleased. another break from the suffocating heat of skin to skin worsens the danger, tugging nikolai’s shirt over his head and tossing it aside. ] My way suits you. [ kaz kisses across his chest to the opposite side, wetting his nipple and blowing cool air over it. his words are as close as he dares get to calling nikolai beautiful like this, which he is, all saints. lined and bronzed, as everyone would dream a prince to be. better than that, he’s finally stripped raw, as kaz has been from the start. and if nikolai has never thought of this, perhaps he’s never been in this compliant state before, either, not for anyone else. something possessive twinges in his gut.
a brief reprieve as he eases up to help remove his own shirt, while nerves and sense-memory churn his stomach. stills, for a moment, before continuing his diligent work, pleased vibrations in his mouth from nikolai giving into his demands and encouraging his efforts. his skin burns with every light touch to his body, softer than anything they’ve shared to this point.
kaz mouths down to suck a mark on his stomach and then another, lower. both hands follow after, the pads of his fingers pressing into the bruises he left. an unhurried, indulgent wish to map and keep this topography in his mind, like the impression of schematics on paper, interrupted only by nikolai urging him higher — closer in deed and word. naming him kaz, not brekker, loops the string around his neck. i want you more than anything pulls him up, breathless, the very thing he hadn’t been brave enough to say himself. kaz leans over him, weight settling to roll his hips where he’s already half-hard, tightly controlled despite the want and fright gnawing at him, breath hitching. bends, then, to catch nikolai’s mouth in an achingly slow kiss. patience has always been his ace. a willingness to wait for revenge, opportunity, this. ]
You have me, Nikolai. [ promised before a second, more desperate kiss, moan drowned in the depths of it. nikolai has never begged before, seems unlikely to do it again, and kaz feels greedier for the challenge. ] I have you. You’re doing so good for me. [ his hand slips between them, rewarding nikolai by pressing his palm over his cock. keeps it there, so he has something to push against. a faint murmur, forced from his throat — ] Want you just as much.
[ more than anything. if he could, kaz would promise nikolai whatever he wants, everything left inside his ruinous person, but he can’t. arousal oils his joints. fear stiffens them. he drops a parting kiss at the corner of his mouth before drawing down, pushing nikolai’s legs apart to settle between them, patience lost in his eagerness to mouth over nikolai’s clothed cock. you can do this. ]
Will you think of me this way now? [ glancing up through his lashes, as he unlaces nikolai’s trousers and pushes them down, just enough to kiss the exposed divot of his hip and bite the top of his thigh. ] Nikolai. [ eyes bright and gravel-rough voice thick with need. his tongue darts out in anticipation. ] Do you want my mouth?
[ kaz finds his hand to interlace their fingers, the same as nikolai did for him. ]
no subject
pride sparks inside him, lighting up his chest as nikolai confesses to the same, ceaseless thoughts of him — or different ones. oh. that suffuses him with sunlit warmth, persisting even as nikolai’s wandering hands make him shiver. kaz wants to know nikolai’s every yearning thought, charting where their desires overlap and diverge — doubling their possibilities, no doubt. can’t think of a wrong way to be with him or of it being too much, when the very act of touching him should be impossible. ]
I’ll consider that an achievement. [ mouth quirked on both sides for a change, dead pleased. another break from the suffocating heat of skin to skin worsens the danger, tugging nikolai’s shirt over his head and tossing it aside. ] My way suits you. [ kaz kisses across his chest to the opposite side, wetting his nipple and blowing cool air over it. his words are as close as he dares get to calling nikolai beautiful like this, which he is, all saints. lined and bronzed, as everyone would dream a prince to be. better than that, he’s finally stripped raw, as kaz has been from the start. and if nikolai has never thought of this, perhaps he’s never been in this compliant state before, either, not for anyone else. something possessive twinges in his gut.
a brief reprieve as he eases up to help remove his own shirt, while nerves and sense-memory churn his stomach. stills, for a moment, before continuing his diligent work, pleased vibrations in his mouth from nikolai giving into his demands and encouraging his efforts. his skin burns with every light touch to his body, softer than anything they’ve shared to this point.
kaz mouths down to suck a mark on his stomach and then another, lower. both hands follow after, the pads of his fingers pressing into the bruises he left. an unhurried, indulgent wish to map and keep this topography in his mind, like the impression of schematics on paper, interrupted only by nikolai urging him higher — closer in deed and word. naming him kaz, not brekker, loops the string around his neck. i want you more than anything pulls him up, breathless, the very thing he hadn’t been brave enough to say himself. kaz leans over him, weight settling to roll his hips where he’s already half-hard, tightly controlled despite the want and fright gnawing at him, breath hitching. bends, then, to catch nikolai’s mouth in an achingly slow kiss. patience has always been his ace. a willingness to wait for revenge, opportunity, this. ]
You have me, Nikolai. [ promised before a second, more desperate kiss, moan drowned in the depths of it. nikolai has never begged before, seems unlikely to do it again, and kaz feels greedier for the challenge. ] I have you. You’re doing so good for me. [ his hand slips between them, rewarding nikolai by pressing his palm over his cock. keeps it there, so he has something to push against. a faint murmur, forced from his throat — ] Want you just as much.
[ more than anything. if he could, kaz would promise nikolai whatever he wants, everything left inside his ruinous person, but he can’t. arousal oils his joints. fear stiffens them. he drops a parting kiss at the corner of his mouth before drawing down, pushing nikolai’s legs apart to settle between them, patience lost in his eagerness to mouth over nikolai’s clothed cock. you can do this. ]
Will you think of me this way now? [ glancing up through his lashes, as he unlaces nikolai’s trousers and pushes them down, just enough to kiss the exposed divot of his hip and bite the top of his thigh. ] Nikolai. [ eyes bright and gravel-rough voice thick with need. his tongue darts out in anticipation. ] Do you want my mouth?
[ kaz finds his hand to interlace their fingers, the same as nikolai did for him. ]