[ unintentionally, he starts noticing the things nikolai does that burn him up, too. carding his hair from his eyes so kaz can return his gaze, blues scalding. touching the seam of his lips makes kaz want his fingers, cock, mouth all at once, ridiculous. his praise re-ignites the heat trails down his back. of course kaz fails to restrain a groan, eyes closing to escape nikolai’s frightfully sincere expression. a tender feeling flares behind his ribs when nikolai articulates what he couldn’t — the singularity of this experience, their connection — and turns his stuttering pace into a satisfying rhythm. how is nikolai still so brave, after losing so much? his thoughts shatter and shimmer, incoherent beyond the uniting belief that nikolai is the miracle, a brilliance to him even on his darkest days.
with his hips twitch against the covers and cock straining in his trousers, he would shuck them off, if his attention weren’t narrowed to nikolai, determined to follow his guiding hand and gentle instructions. widening the set of his jaw, pushing himself farther, kaz breathes deeply around him. waits again for the honeyed smell of him to transmute into something sickening. it doesn’t. water ekes at the corner of his eyes, an almost entirely foreign sensation.
a shuddery inhale as he lifts off, sure fingers splaying to fill the slick space behind, fervent strokes to keep nikolai teetering at the edge. kaz weighs the risks, competitive and adoring impulses dovetailing into a rough plan. his eyes slant, a damn near glare — ]
S’not too much. [ bereft of his mouth, kaz smears a kiss at the back of his hand. when he tilts his head upwards to better see nikolai — the attractive arch of his neck and chest both begging to be kissed, touched — his features soften. ] You can’t be. [ it seems vital to tell him that, eyes huge and dark. his touch is trusted (maybe always will be), though the tide continues rocking beneath them and crashing over him. ]
Push me again. [ the tension dissipates from his body, rolling from his shoulders down to his calves, enveloped by nikolai’s attention. kaz swallows as much of his cock as he can manage, the taste familiar and almost good, sucking in a breath without meaning to but, oh, that works too. a pleased little moan. with nikolai’s help, it’s easier — true of many things, at this point — angling back when necessary to pant an open breath, then returning to meet the needy hitches of his hips with his mouth, holding on command. he shifts his hand, rubbing his thumb over the inside of nikolai’s thigh before dragging back to tease his balls.
when he senses nikolai coming apart, his grip on their clasped fingers tightens, urging him onward with quick pulls of his mouth. kaz anticipates a bitter taste, and he isn’t wrong, a startled noise caught in his throat as nikolai jerks into the clutch of his jaw. more stinging water in his eyes. eases off half a second too early but his tongue darts out, quick to make up for it. only stops when nikolai slackens in his hands, rubbing an arm over his face in a haphazard, instinctive movement, white spots still freckling one corner of his mouth. a little dazed despite the flames licking at his insides and pulse skidding under the skin, kaz tips his head into nikolai’s thigh, cognition working furiously to imprint the image of nikolai undone on the backs of his eyelids. his lips feel raw, sensitive, not unlike the satisfying overexertion that follows a perfect score. ]
no subject
with his hips twitch against the covers and cock straining in his trousers, he would shuck them off, if his attention weren’t narrowed to nikolai, determined to follow his guiding hand and gentle instructions. widening the set of his jaw, pushing himself farther, kaz breathes deeply around him. waits again for the honeyed smell of him to transmute into something sickening. it doesn’t. water ekes at the corner of his eyes, an almost entirely foreign sensation.
a shuddery inhale as he lifts off, sure fingers splaying to fill the slick space behind, fervent strokes to keep nikolai teetering at the edge. kaz weighs the risks, competitive and adoring impulses dovetailing into a rough plan. his eyes slant, a damn near glare — ]
S’not too much. [ bereft of his mouth, kaz smears a kiss at the back of his hand. when he tilts his head upwards to better see nikolai — the attractive arch of his neck and chest both begging to be kissed, touched — his features soften. ] You can’t be. [ it seems vital to tell him that, eyes huge and dark. his touch is trusted (maybe always will be), though the tide continues rocking beneath them and crashing over him. ]
Push me again. [ the tension dissipates from his body, rolling from his shoulders down to his calves, enveloped by nikolai’s attention. kaz swallows as much of his cock as he can manage, the taste familiar and almost good, sucking in a breath without meaning to but, oh, that works too. a pleased little moan. with nikolai’s help, it’s easier — true of many things, at this point — angling back when necessary to pant an open breath, then returning to meet the needy hitches of his hips with his mouth, holding on command. he shifts his hand, rubbing his thumb over the inside of nikolai’s thigh before dragging back to tease his balls.
when he senses nikolai coming apart, his grip on their clasped fingers tightens, urging him onward with quick pulls of his mouth. kaz anticipates a bitter taste, and he isn’t wrong, a startled noise caught in his throat as nikolai jerks into the clutch of his jaw. more stinging water in his eyes. eases off half a second too early but his tongue darts out, quick to make up for it. only stops when nikolai slackens in his hands, rubbing an arm over his face in a haphazard, instinctive movement, white spots still freckling one corner of his mouth. a little dazed despite the flames licking at his insides and pulse skidding under the skin, kaz tips his head into nikolai’s thigh, cognition working furiously to imprint the image of nikolai undone on the backs of his eyelids. his lips feel raw, sensitive, not unlike the satisfying overexertion that follows a perfect score. ]