[ in the absence of connection, kaz brekker does what he has since he that night in the harbour, what he does best — the work. traitor unmasked, prize won, and zoya thoroughly ruffled by his antics. it’s a success by some metric, if rather hollow to find himself back at the start, position unchanged by the journey. his nights in ketterdam are no less late, but they’re quieter without nikolai whirring around the room beside him or chattering about nothing at all.
as is his way, kaz doesn’t write. didn’t leave much unsaid in their last conversation, anyhow, asking for more than nikolai was willing to give (always asking for more than anyone can give, it seems). he half-expects nikolai to send something, since he generally has in the time they’ve been apart. the disappointment crests and fades when letters never come. nikolai is either too preoccupied with his demon or rebuffing kaz’s invitation as assuredly as his visit to ravka. things forged in the dark wither in the light of day. he’s always known that. this is only a reminder.
the whispers — then headlines — coming out of ravka are, admittedly, unsettling. anika slams a kerch paper, detailing the foiled assassination attempt, on his desk and asks if he’s heard anything about their crew. they’re not our crew is his crisp reply, even as his eyes rake over the scant details of the story. he knows she means to ask if nikolai and tamar both have survived this incident, but he has no answer for her and won’t swallow his pride enough to seek one. zenik writes asking after all he knows of ravka’s troubles, and he pens a curt, truthful response. if nikolai has shut out his closest friends, there’s no reason for kaz to be any different, precarious as his position was in that circle.
the saints have a cruel sense of humour, leaving nikolai disgraced and kaz brekker honoured for his heroism. now, the trouble with royals is in the association. you retrieve an ancient knickknack for one and suddenly everyone has something they want stolen — or something precious to protect. he skims a barrage of letters from the council, zemeni ministers, and even the shu royal family. at the sight of a familiar hued seal, his heart stutters. upon closer inspection, the dragon emblem gives it away as zoya’s hand, and he nearly bins it on sight. curiosity tempts him to read the contents first, though he forms a rejection as he processes it, demanding more information. then, kaz decides that if zoya’s desperate enough to write urgently, he’s intrigued enough to hear her offer. in his own time, naturally. his ship charts a course for ravka but it holds enough supplies to keep sailing and answer his other summons, if he so chooses.
a regrettable thing, really, that he’s been called to provide a service outwith his purview. he tells zoya as much on the way to his room. i’m a thief, not a ravkan dog. they have soldiers of their own for butcher’s work. saints, he could introduce her to reputable mercenaries if she really wants this done cleanly. inej would council him to reject this likely underpaid proposition. anika does, in fact, whisper her objections to him before she splits off to her quarters. his personal interest in routing out those who might have taken nikolai from this world, however willingly he’d follow them, is all that keeps him from spurning this foolishness outright.
still, zoya manages to surprise him by not showing him the war room and instead escorting him directly to nikolai lantsov, the very person he’d naively wished to avoid on this errand. the sound of his voice twists something in his heart, and he shoots nazyalensky a warning glance.
at odds with kaz’s crisp suit, the room is in a state. nikolai is in a state, which only serves to heighten that painful, burrowing sensation in his chest. greedily, kaz snatches the updated details of his person, marked by those zoya would have him kill but blessedly alive. kaz had hoped that even if he saw nikolai, the want inside him would lie dormant, but of course it doesn’t. impossible for the starving to be satisfied with scraps. ]
[ eyes cold and deep as the sea, ] Would that be worse than if I came here for you? [ holding up a hand to stop any response. a withering look suggests he hasn’t. nikolai does not want you here; he has never wanted you here. reminders as icily sharp as the fjerdan air. unfortunately, his spiteful instincts find the job all the more tempting, now that he’s been advised against it. with concerted effort, he tears his gaze from nikolai’s scarred face and limps toward the windows. ]
You’ll be relieved to hear I only go where I choose, as ever. [ brought him here, please. even the fearsome zoya finds him altogether difficult to manage. he tosses his cane and catches it in the middle of the staff, rapping it lightly against the bars. presumably, these are of a new make than whatever nikolai burst through the last time. fascinating. ] And that I’m out of your price range, besides. [ he turns back toward nikolai, loosening his grip so the cane slides through his braceletted fingers until they hit the topper. ] Perhaps if the dragon queen gave me access to your books, I could steer you in a more profitable direction. [ tipping his free hand this way and that, a gesture of approximation. ] For a fair percentage. [ he knocks up the brim of his hat with two fingers, allowing the light to illuminate his faintly quirked mouth. ] As it stands, Queen Ehri has expressed interest in buying out the competition for my services.
[ kaz folds both hands over the raven’s head of his cane. ]
I’ll hear any counteroffers, but she has the largest treasury — [ one he considered robbing, after shu han opened its gates to him. ] — and she’s far sweeter on me than Nazyalensky. [ mildly, ] Did you find her to be reliable when you were courting?
[ if they’re not talking about nikolai’s tragic appearance, the demon, the assassination, or the job (as per nazyalensky’s polite request), they may as well discuss something of use to him. perhaps he’s curious whether nikolai would mind him swapping allegiances and risking his life for another crown, too, since his devotion to queen and country seems to have finally reached its limit, somewhere between his self-destructive tendencies and whatever drives his consistent attempts to send kaz away. best not to theorise about the latter, so he resists the urge for the time being. ]
neither am i
as is his way, kaz doesn’t write. didn’t leave much unsaid in their last conversation, anyhow, asking for more than nikolai was willing to give (always asking for more than anyone can give, it seems). he half-expects nikolai to send something, since he generally has in the time they’ve been apart. the disappointment crests and fades when letters never come. nikolai is either too preoccupied with his demon or rebuffing kaz’s invitation as assuredly as his visit to ravka. things forged in the dark wither in the light of day. he’s always known that. this is only a reminder.
the whispers — then headlines — coming out of ravka are, admittedly, unsettling. anika slams a kerch paper, detailing the foiled assassination attempt, on his desk and asks if he’s heard anything about their crew. they’re not our crew is his crisp reply, even as his eyes rake over the scant details of the story. he knows she means to ask if nikolai and tamar both have survived this incident, but he has no answer for her and won’t swallow his pride enough to seek one. zenik writes asking after all he knows of ravka’s troubles, and he pens a curt, truthful response. if nikolai has shut out his closest friends, there’s no reason for kaz to be any different, precarious as his position was in that circle.
the saints have a cruel sense of humour, leaving nikolai disgraced and kaz brekker honoured for his heroism. now, the trouble with royals is in the association. you retrieve an ancient knickknack for one and suddenly everyone has something they want stolen — or something precious to protect. he skims a barrage of letters from the council, zemeni ministers, and even the shu royal family. at the sight of a familiar hued seal, his heart stutters. upon closer inspection, the dragon emblem gives it away as zoya’s hand, and he nearly bins it on sight. curiosity tempts him to read the contents first, though he forms a rejection as he processes it, demanding more information. then, kaz decides that if zoya’s desperate enough to write urgently, he’s intrigued enough to hear her offer. in his own time, naturally. his ship charts a course for ravka but it holds enough supplies to keep sailing and answer his other summons, if he so chooses.
a regrettable thing, really, that he’s been called to provide a service outwith his purview. he tells zoya as much on the way to his room. i’m a thief, not a ravkan dog. they have soldiers of their own for butcher’s work. saints, he could introduce her to reputable mercenaries if she really wants this done cleanly. inej would council him to reject this likely underpaid proposition. anika does, in fact, whisper her objections to him before she splits off to her quarters. his personal interest in routing out those who might have taken nikolai from this world, however willingly he’d follow them, is all that keeps him from spurning this foolishness outright.
still, zoya manages to surprise him by not showing him the war room and instead escorting him directly to nikolai lantsov, the very person he’d naively wished to avoid on this errand. the sound of his voice twists something in his heart, and he shoots nazyalensky a warning glance.
at odds with kaz’s crisp suit, the room is in a state. nikolai is in a state, which only serves to heighten that painful, burrowing sensation in his chest. greedily, kaz snatches the updated details of his person, marked by those zoya would have him kill but blessedly alive. kaz had hoped that even if he saw nikolai, the want inside him would lie dormant, but of course it doesn’t. impossible for the starving to be satisfied with scraps. ]
[ eyes cold and deep as the sea, ] Would that be worse than if I came here for you? [ holding up a hand to stop any response. a withering look suggests he hasn’t. nikolai does not want you here; he has never wanted you here. reminders as icily sharp as the fjerdan air. unfortunately, his spiteful instincts find the job all the more tempting, now that he’s been advised against it. with concerted effort, he tears his gaze from nikolai’s scarred face and limps toward the windows. ]
You’ll be relieved to hear I only go where I choose, as ever. [ brought him here, please. even the fearsome zoya finds him altogether difficult to manage. he tosses his cane and catches it in the middle of the staff, rapping it lightly against the bars. presumably, these are of a new make than whatever nikolai burst through the last time. fascinating. ] And that I’m out of your price range, besides. [ he turns back toward nikolai, loosening his grip so the cane slides through his braceletted fingers until they hit the topper. ] Perhaps if the dragon queen gave me access to your books, I could steer you in a more profitable direction. [ tipping his free hand this way and that, a gesture of approximation. ] For a fair percentage. [ he knocks up the brim of his hat with two fingers, allowing the light to illuminate his faintly quirked mouth. ] As it stands, Queen Ehri has expressed interest in buying out the competition for my services.
[ kaz folds both hands over the raven’s head of his cane. ]
I’ll hear any counteroffers, but she has the largest treasury — [ one he considered robbing, after shu han opened its gates to him. ] — and she’s far sweeter on me than Nazyalensky. [ mildly, ] Did you find her to be reliable when you were courting?
[ if they’re not talking about nikolai’s tragic appearance, the demon, the assassination, or the job (as per nazyalensky’s polite request), they may as well discuss something of use to him. perhaps he’s curious whether nikolai would mind him swapping allegiances and risking his life for another crown, too, since his devotion to queen and country seems to have finally reached its limit, somewhere between his self-destructive tendencies and whatever drives his consistent attempts to send kaz away. best not to theorise about the latter, so he resists the urge for the time being. ]