[ the pressure changes in the air, signaling the oncoming storm seconds before kaz crashes their mouths together. none of the resistance that characterised their reunion persists here. every touch has a propulsive energy, sparking with life in the dark where it had felt deadened in the daylight. nikolai follows his momentum instead of rerouting, so kaz does the same. there’s the alignment.
when nikolai shoves him down, air rushes past his lips. a possible outcome — an optimal one, from a certain angle, just not expected. doesn’t matter. already, he pushes the robe down nikolai’s arms, thumbs dragging over his skin until he has to move to pull the tie free at his waist and toss it aside. kaz stops short of tearing the damn thing off entirely. it might be the purchase he needs when the exposure threatens to rattle his limbs. ]
You want me? [ scoffed on an uneven breath, like he doesn’t believe it. except his pulse wouldn’t spike if he didn’t. his breath hitches as nikolai marks him, threading a hand into his hair and thinking about how they both wrenched each other away the last time. ] How much? [ unfair to ask when nikolai has told him already in comparatives: perhaps more than he wants his suffering to end, maybe less than he desires security for ravka or absolution for his wrongs.
if i can’t have you, i don’t want the rest. without meaning to, kaz digs his nails into nikolai’s hip, free hand sliding over his back where his horrible wings spring free. this is predictable, he reminds himself. nikolai always makes grand proclamations in moments like this, needful and emotional. a retort sharpens against his teeth, but he loses the shape of it as nikolai kisses him soundly, fingers pressing over one of the scars from his service to ravka, of a kind with the gash that opened his gut the first time, the lines across his palm and shoulders. as much a proof of affection as the bruise nipped into his neck. he kisses back hard, both hands sliding to cup nikolai’s face. maybe if he plays this the same way as the first hand, too fast to overthink, he can give nikolai enough. ]
For how long? [ lilting into a tease while nikolai trails down his chest. ] Just the next hour? [ until sunrise, when he thinks better of invoking his twice broken fantasies. i want more time with you brims with promise and the disappointment that so often trails it. doesn’t know what he expected to happen, only that he didn’t think nikolai would slip back into their intimacy so quickly, after everything kaz did. his next words stick in his throat, inhale sudden and sharp as nikolai mouths at the tip of his cock. green eyes sun-bright even in the blackness, something of the fox in the quirk of his mouth. trust nikolai to take his advice when he least expects it. ]
Would that be enough for you? [ it’s an honest question and a dare. rhetorical and not. nikolai admitting what he wants aloud matters, but kaz wants more — expects more, after all he’s given. he reaches for it now, carding his fingers through nikolai’s hair and gently coaxing him down his length. ]
no subject
when nikolai shoves him down, air rushes past his lips. a possible outcome — an optimal one, from a certain angle, just not expected. doesn’t matter. already, he pushes the robe down nikolai’s arms, thumbs dragging over his skin until he has to move to pull the tie free at his waist and toss it aside. kaz stops short of tearing the damn thing off entirely. it might be the purchase he needs when the exposure threatens to rattle his limbs. ]
You want me? [ scoffed on an uneven breath, like he doesn’t believe it. except his pulse wouldn’t spike if he didn’t. his breath hitches as nikolai marks him, threading a hand into his hair and thinking about how they both wrenched each other away the last time. ] How much? [ unfair to ask when nikolai has told him already in comparatives: perhaps more than he wants his suffering to end, maybe less than he desires security for ravka or absolution for his wrongs.
if i can’t have you, i don’t want the rest. without meaning to, kaz digs his nails into nikolai’s hip, free hand sliding over his back where his horrible wings spring free. this is predictable, he reminds himself. nikolai always makes grand proclamations in moments like this, needful and emotional. a retort sharpens against his teeth, but he loses the shape of it as nikolai kisses him soundly, fingers pressing over one of the scars from his service to ravka, of a kind with the gash that opened his gut the first time, the lines across his palm and shoulders. as much a proof of affection as the bruise nipped into his neck. he kisses back hard, both hands sliding to cup nikolai’s face. maybe if he plays this the same way as the first hand, too fast to overthink, he can give nikolai enough. ]
For how long? [ lilting into a tease while nikolai trails down his chest. ] Just the next hour? [ until sunrise, when he thinks better of invoking his twice broken fantasies. i want more time with you brims with promise and the disappointment that so often trails it. doesn’t know what he expected to happen, only that he didn’t think nikolai would slip back into their intimacy so quickly, after everything kaz did. his next words stick in his throat, inhale sudden and sharp as nikolai mouths at the tip of his cock. green eyes sun-bright even in the blackness, something of the fox in the quirk of his mouth. trust nikolai to take his advice when he least expects it. ]
Would that be enough for you? [ it’s an honest question and a dare. rhetorical and not. nikolai admitting what he wants aloud matters, but kaz wants more — expects more, after all he’s given. he reaches for it now, carding his fingers through nikolai’s hair and gently coaxing him down his length. ]