[ frenetic energy propels nikolai tonight, one he hasn’t brought to their previous encounters. a new, wretched need to repent driving him to please now with each word and action. tell me you’ll stay, give me more time. finally, he asks for what he wants, for what kaz hoped was wanted upon his arrival.
in return, kaz meets every kiss, though his reaction time is slowed. hadn’t anticipated the scale of nikolai’s need or the rush to act, necessitating recalibration. there’s something more in his kisses, too — his hold tugging kaz flush, his smile cracked at the edges. at least at this exact point, kaz must be what he wants. at least until sunrise, he could be what nikolai needs, pressed between his legs like he belongs there.
let’s go now. tonight. a chill chases nikolai’s fingers down his spine, so kaz eases up on his hands, weight shifting off nikolai. talk of sturmhond in ketterdam earns a mild scowl, though his fantasies latch onto the natural corollary to that threat (nikolai in ketterdam, a scenario he’d guarded against desiring until the end, when nikolai slipped past his defences). not again. his eyes narrow, then settle. his wrinkled brow suddenly smoothed. one hand pushes open nikolai’s robe to expose his chest. ]
I’m here. [ a peck to his mouth and then another. one of the only reassurances he knows that nikolai understands, affection prized above all else. careful. not i’m staying. he isn’t. not for long. can’t, having already shirked his duties by lingering here. he swipes his tongue along the seem of nikolai’s lips, licking into his mouth as if a proper kiss can prove his devotion. ]
Do you really wish to go now? [ breathless as he noses into nikolai’s cheek to drop kisses along his jaw and down his throat. his hands search for nikolai’s again, gently winding them back against the sheets. kaz mouths all the way to his collarbone, sucking a mark where the annoying v of shirt usually folds open. ] Just us? [ curious. a passage out of the palace to the rumoured laboratory, its inventions worth more kruge than every dusty heirloom in the palace and not one secret among them that he'd sell. he drags the flat of his tongue lower, pausing only to nip at nikolai‘s stomach. his murmur grinds rough in his throat. ] Alone in the night — without your keepers? [ a hum to feign thoughtfulness as he draws back up nikolai’s torso. for a moment, he hesitates, hovering above nikolai before lowering to rest his weight against him fully, untangling their hands to fold his arms atop nikolai’s chest, the gifted ring dangling off a hooked finger. stolen because he can, not because he intends to take it back. ]
[ arching a brow, ] You could slip through my fingers. [ to escape the agreement kaz forced him into, or perhaps to return to the vigilantes’ torturous grasp. this entire reconciliation could be contrived, a lovely snare. ] And then I’d have to put them to use elsewhere just to draw you back. [ stealing secrets, prototypes, whatever he can carry so that sturmhond or nikolai might come bother him. a threat for a threat.
the sapphire inlay catches his eye, and kaz finds himself abruptly overwhelmed by the idea of nikolai likening the black tide of his gaze to precious gems — the blue of the sky. he closes his fist around the ring and rests his head on his arms so he won’t have to look at it or nikolai any longer, ignoring the equally sentimental musing that he hasn’t laid on anyone since jordie. this close, the steady beat of nikolai's heart, healthier than it was in fjerda, evens his own jumping pulse. ]
no subject
in return, kaz meets every kiss, though his reaction time is slowed. hadn’t anticipated the scale of nikolai’s need or the rush to act, necessitating recalibration. there’s something more in his kisses, too — his hold tugging kaz flush, his smile cracked at the edges. at least at this exact point, kaz must be what he wants. at least until sunrise, he could be what nikolai needs, pressed between his legs like he belongs there.
let’s go now. tonight. a chill chases nikolai’s fingers down his spine, so kaz eases up on his hands, weight shifting off nikolai. talk of sturmhond in ketterdam earns a mild scowl, though his fantasies latch onto the natural corollary to that threat (nikolai in ketterdam, a scenario he’d guarded against desiring until the end, when nikolai slipped past his defences). not again. his eyes narrow, then settle. his wrinkled brow suddenly smoothed. one hand pushes open nikolai’s robe to expose his chest. ]
I’m here. [ a peck to his mouth and then another. one of the only reassurances he knows that nikolai understands, affection prized above all else. careful. not i’m staying. he isn’t. not for long. can’t, having already shirked his duties by lingering here. he swipes his tongue along the seem of nikolai’s lips, licking into his mouth as if a proper kiss can prove his devotion. ]
Do you really wish to go now? [ breathless as he noses into nikolai’s cheek to drop kisses along his jaw and down his throat. his hands search for nikolai’s again, gently winding them back against the sheets. kaz mouths all the way to his collarbone, sucking a mark where the annoying v of shirt usually folds open. ] Just us? [ curious. a passage out of the palace to the rumoured laboratory, its inventions worth more kruge than every dusty heirloom in the palace and not one secret among them that he'd sell. he drags the flat of his tongue lower, pausing only to nip at nikolai‘s stomach. his murmur grinds rough in his throat. ] Alone in the night — without your keepers? [ a hum to feign thoughtfulness as he draws back up nikolai’s torso. for a moment, he hesitates, hovering above nikolai before lowering to rest his weight against him fully, untangling their hands to fold his arms atop nikolai’s chest, the gifted ring dangling off a hooked finger. stolen because he can, not because he intends to take it back. ]
[ arching a brow, ] You could slip through my fingers. [ to escape the agreement kaz forced him into, or perhaps to return to the vigilantes’ torturous grasp. this entire reconciliation could be contrived, a lovely snare. ] And then I’d have to put them to use elsewhere just to draw you back. [ stealing secrets, prototypes, whatever he can carry so that sturmhond or nikolai might come bother him. a threat for a threat.
the sapphire inlay catches his eye, and kaz finds himself abruptly overwhelmed by the idea of nikolai likening the black tide of his gaze to precious gems — the blue of the sky. he closes his fist around the ring and rests his head on his arms so he won’t have to look at it or nikolai any longer, ignoring the equally sentimental musing that he hasn’t laid on anyone since jordie. this close, the steady beat of nikolai's heart, healthier than it was in fjerda, evens his own jumping pulse. ]