[ kaz feels nikolai tense before he hears the sharp edge in his voice. expected. fair. a marked shift from his attitude prior to their last fight. finally, kaz brekker isn’t something nikolai tamed in need of protection but instead the source of damage. good. let him think the worst of you. his gaze follows nikolai’s hands, a flicker of hunger swiftly snuffed out by the explanation of his scar. ]
I like you better alive. [ a confession that comes too quick to be anything but true. he brushes a kiss over nikolai’s temple because the impulse strikes him — and because it conveniently precludes eye contact. your tell. the tip of his gaze to inej in the harbour, the inevitable pull of it towards nikolai wherever he is in a room. he digs his nails into his palm, drawing his focus down his free arm and across the water.
the thought of entering the lake never occurs to him, but he imagines nikolai would enjoy it, burnished with sunlight. ]
Easy. [ kaz squeezes his side, fingers slipping under his shirt. copycat. they skim his waistband next, hooking inside to follow his hipbone further down, hopeful for a shiver that has nothing to do with the evening breeze. ] I’ve been a good soldier, moi tsar. [ always is, when it suits him. zoya can attest that he has dutifully matched the drawings to almost all of the families already. his mouth tugs sideways into a smirk. ] And I’m anything but rash. [ he thinks of relieving oomen of his sight and dropping him in the sea. perhaps he is a liar, when it comes to revealing his nature, but the only ravkan kaz injured on this trip is nikolai — nikolai, kissing him gently to offset the harshness of his accusation. appreciated but unnecessary. of course he has his own game. he’s kaz brekker. (but if he were the same kaz brekker that accepted the ice court job, he’d say nothing more until the game’s end.) ]
If I have something she wants, [ like nikolai, for instance. ] she’ll listen before anyone has to shoot. [ his hand abruptly reverses course, smoothing up the planes of nikolai’s stomach and over his chest to trace the starburst scar. another tell. can’t help but study the miracle that is nikolai’s presence, the unstoppable pulse under his hand. if any of their gods and saints are real, they must want him to live. how could they not? ] Persuading her to back down will lower the temperature of the conversation everywhere. [ and nearly eliminate the likelihood of further, competent assassination attempts from within ravka (at least as revenge for the demon’s work). and if they play this right, he could see ketterdam in mere days, disappearing before nikolai has to make his usual daylight excuses. ] I'll secure a Ravkan contact who isn’t terminally heroic. [ he catches nikolai’s eye. ] For business reasons. [ """business reasons""" ] She'll make a profitable alliance in return. It's the rare game where everyone wins.
no subject
I like you better alive. [ a confession that comes too quick to be anything but true. he brushes a kiss over nikolai’s temple because the impulse strikes him — and because it conveniently precludes eye contact. your tell. the tip of his gaze to inej in the harbour, the inevitable pull of it towards nikolai wherever he is in a room. he digs his nails into his palm, drawing his focus down his free arm and across the water.
the thought of entering the lake never occurs to him, but he imagines nikolai would enjoy it, burnished with sunlight. ]
Easy. [ kaz squeezes his side, fingers slipping under his shirt. copycat. they skim his waistband next, hooking inside to follow his hipbone further down, hopeful for a shiver that has nothing to do with the evening breeze. ] I’ve been a good soldier, moi tsar. [ always is, when it suits him. zoya can attest that he has dutifully matched the drawings to almost all of the families already. his mouth tugs sideways into a smirk. ] And I’m anything but rash. [ he thinks of relieving oomen of his sight and dropping him in the sea. perhaps he is a liar, when it comes to revealing his nature, but the only ravkan kaz injured on this trip is nikolai — nikolai, kissing him gently to offset the harshness of his accusation. appreciated but unnecessary. of course he has his own game. he’s kaz brekker. (but if he were the same kaz brekker that accepted the ice court job, he’d say nothing more until the game’s end.) ]
If I have something she wants, [ like nikolai, for instance. ] she’ll listen before anyone has to shoot. [ his hand abruptly reverses course, smoothing up the planes of nikolai’s stomach and over his chest to trace the starburst scar. another tell. can’t help but study the miracle that is nikolai’s presence, the unstoppable pulse under his hand. if any of their gods and saints are real, they must want him to live. how could they not? ] Persuading her to back down will lower the temperature of the conversation everywhere. [ and nearly eliminate the likelihood of further, competent assassination attempts from within ravka (at least as revenge for the demon’s work). and if they play this right, he could see ketterdam in mere days, disappearing before nikolai has to make his usual daylight excuses. ] I'll secure a Ravkan contact who isn’t terminally heroic. [ he catches nikolai’s eye. ] For business reasons. [ """business reasons""" ] She'll make a profitable alliance in return. It's the rare game where everyone wins.